By Dr. Karen Gless and Dr. Lee Overholser
In my practice I see a lot of couples who are miserable because they can’t handle disagreements. When a marriage or relationship breaks up, it’s almost always due to unresolved conflict. Some couples get in a rage and insult each other when they argue.
Some ignore issues and let them fester over time. They may suffer in silence or they may avoid certain subjects because they can’t cope with them. One partner may try to keep the peace by always giving in. Any of these approaches leads to serious emotional pain over time.
The couple may cite “irreconcilable differences” or say, “We can’t communicate.” But it all boils down to conflict over differences. If you want your relationship to last, you have to be able to work through your disagreements.
So when you hear that you can save your relationship with Creative Conflict, you may ask, “How can I improve my relationship by arguing? That sounds crazy!” The truth is that every relationship has conflict. You have to work through your differences somehow. You can do it very painfully or you can take our course and learn how to do it creatively and with a lot less pain. You can actually work through your problems and have the wonderful, successful relationship you long for.
- Create a new powerful relationship
- Establish a safe space
- Finally start working together
- Learn to trust each other
- Combine the best of both of you
- Stop arguing in circles
- And Much, Much More...
The Creative Conflict course gets down to the real cause of horrible arguments, which we call: Conflict Style Mismatch. Often men and women have very different ways of dealing with a conflict. We show you how to get on the same page and tackle problems together.
The main book, How to Save your Relationship with Creative Conflict, introduces you to the amazing discovery of Creative Conflict. You will learn how to take the pain out of arguments through a special use of creativity. The two of you will actually make progress on your conflicts and discover new solutions to old problems.
This is followed by two shorter books, one for men and the other for women. The women’s book, Creative Conflict for Women: How to Stand up for Yourself, shows how to work through conflict with a man without caving in to his demands, giving in or escalating the conflict by putting him down.
The book for men, Creative Conflict for Men: Finding new Solutions, shows how to handle an argument without having to win. Too many men are stuck in seeing every conflict as a win/lose situation. This book introduces men to the idea that there is another option, working it through, and shows how to do it with creativity.
There are three MP3 Guided Relaxation sessions. These sessions help you relax and get in touch with the deeper part of your mind where you make actual change. It’s one thing to have an idea. It’s very different to make that idea part of your life. The Guided Relaxation MP3s take you to a powerful place where you make real change.
The MP3 experience for women, Stand up for Yourself, makes inner strength a powerful part of your approach to handling conflict. The MP3 for men, Finding Creative Solutions, makes the creative way of resolving arguments an automatic part of dealing with differences.
Finally there is the crucial self-soothing MP3 session, . When a couple gets too upset during an argument, they are unable to do anything except attack and defend. Creativity falls by the wayside. That’s why the ability to self-sooth is so important to Creative Conflict.
The self-soothing MP3 Guided Relaxation Experience, Turn the Heat Down: Self-Soothing, helps you keep a disagreement from getting out of control. When people have an argument they almost always go on the attack or defend themselves. We call these the top dog and underdog positions. That’s why there are four versions of the self-soothing session, two for men and two for women.
There are three parts to making any change a part of your life. One is learning a new idea, a new way of looking at things. Two is getting that new idea down to the deeper part of your mind, the part that makes behavior automatic. Finally the third part is making that new idea a practical reality in your life.
That calls for experiencing the idea as part of your behavior. That’s what the exercises in the main book are all about. By doing the exercises you discover how Creative Conflict works in your life and relationship. The exercises make it real. Exercises include:
Agreement Power: We set up a competition to see who can find the most things to agree on without giving in on things that really matter to you. You are laying out common ground so as the ground grows, new approaches and ideas naturally appear. Agreement power takes the heat and the nastiness out of conflict.
The Penny Game: In this game you turn things around. You get 30 pennies and you give away a penny when you find something to agree with. You get a penny when you insult your partner. The winner is the one who gives away all of the pennies. It is surprising how fast this exercise can take the pain out of an argument.
These and the other exercises are all set up to be fun, enjoyable explorations of the challenges you face as you create your new, powerful relationship. I believe that each couple is unique and each couple can find their own unique way of being successful and happy. You owe it to yourself to start your journey to a creative, rewarding relationship today.
With this course you will receive:
One shared book:
- How to Save your Relationship with Creative Conflict
Two books, one for men and one for women:
- Creative Conflict for Women: How to Stand up for Yourself
- Creative Conflict for Men: Finding new Solutions
Two Guided Relaxation Experiences, one for each book:
- For Women: Stand up for Yourself
- For Men: Finding Creative Solutions
There are four versions of the self-soothing session, Turn the Heat Down: Self-Soothing,
two for men and two for women.
- Self-Soothing for a Top Dog Man
- Self-soothing for an Underdog Man
- Self-Soothing for a Top Dog Woman
- Self-soothing for an Underdog Woman
You will receive a total of three books and six MP3s. with these powerful tools you will be able to transform how the two of you handle conflict and finally work through old problems and face new ones with confidence and hope. Then instead of wasting your relationship on useless arguments, you can come up with new, creative solutions, strengthen your relationship and deepen your love.